Creature of habit

This is probably just Part One of my habits:
I lock doors immediatly after entering my house, I put off laundry, I always seem to leave five minutes later than desired, I have the same ritual before i go to bed every night...blablabla...but...
I make a habit of forgetting these little important things. Like taking my new Axert migrane medication instead of Ibprofen when the headache is around. I have had it for months now, and in between then and now I've had several migranes. They've never made me dizzy, but its not good when i have to wear sunglasses at night. You would think i would try to conquer this thing by keeping the good stuff with me at all times...ready to kick migrane ass. Instead I think "ibprofen" for everything. I cant get past it. Eh, well i realize that i forget things all the time. Its a fight everyday. I feel like i have youth alzheimers...hm...maybe ADD. I'll be doing something, and in the process i forget what im doing. Then i sit there for a minute thinking hard (maybe thats why im getting more and more migranes :P ). Most of the time I'm pretty sure im just distracted by something else...a sound...an idea...something shiney...but other times...i think I'm accidentaly hitting the delete key in my brain and i have to go in and figure out how to recover. Also i tend to mix days up. I'll remember something that happend earlier in the day, and then after thinking about it for awhile, i realize it didnt happen that day, it happend anywhere from a day ago to a week ago...sometimes...its even from a dream. hehe...yes i have very very vivid dreams. If you are the least bit curious about my dreams go to http://roof-dweller.livejournal.com I think its my 3rd entry.

I also think too hard when i shouldnt. I had a migrane while i tried to post some things on moogle. Its not fun to analyze poetry when under the influence of a migrane. I became gradually more pessimistic about "Hymn to Intellectual Beauty." At first i pretty much was on the same page with everyone else in the class: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But about the 4th readthrough, i thought the author was describing physical beauty and then the words took on a sarcastic form for me. I thought the poem wasnt at all about Intellectual Beauty but it was taking a stab on physical beauty, and named the title "Hymn to Intellectual Beauty" to spite it. I read the damn thing with a sarcastic and pissed off attitude in my mind about that 4th time through. Then I took Ibprofen, ate dinner...the whole time refusing to think about the poem...or anything. So i reread it later, no longer calling it "the damn thing" and I became comfortable with analyzing it. I chose not to think so hard again. I answered the question how I thought adaquate at the time, and any thoughts on it later I'll just keep to myself. I tend to change my viewpoint, i flipflop because i think too hard, and often i can add onto a viewpoint exponentially...so i dont want to confuse anyone who reads my posts, or make them read an entire novel of my opinions...EVENTUALLY in time, I will have more of an absolute opinion.

Lessons learned:
Take Axert
Dont think too hard
Dont think under the influence of a migrane
Probably shouldnt drive at night under the influence of a migrane on that note.
Alzheimers is spelled just so.
Look in to Ginko Biloba...and coffee
Do not drink fruitpunch Crystal Light while laying on your white comforter.

What's fresh air like? I've forgotten.

Can anyone else ice skate on their front lawn? I CAN!
My car is sporting its new snow camo this evening. I call it "ROCK HARD." Its not coming off anytime soon. I could use alittle fire and brimstone.
Other than that...and being couped up in my house for 5 days...gee I cant wait to skate to my classes tomorrow. I can scratch it off the ol' "things I must do before I die" list.

comfort zone

Well I'm thinkin' this online course is the best kind of english class i've ever had. why? well since you're so curious. . .In all other English classes I have always been quiet. I have usually kept my opinions to myself, unless I was put on the spot. I am reluctant to share my opinions because I fear that my opinions will be well...wrong. I know....they're opinions. And also when i have the nerve to verbally put myself out there, I usually get interrupted by those who have stronger voices, or who have been contributing to conversations since the beginning of the semester. But even though i know I am smart, I often feel stupid when I open my mouth. I'm a writer, but I'm not much for words. verbally or written down. i need plenty of time for reflection, that....and well i day dream. I have trouble staying focused in class when I let everyone else do the talking. I cant do that here. I am assigned to post. I am assigned to share an opinion. I have all the reflection time i need before i speak.

When I was reading the introduction to William Blake's Songs of Innocence I couldn't help but realize that writing down our words and our poetry gives them immortality, or a good chance at it. So I am trying to be very thoughtful in everything i write. I even write in my non-online journal as if it will be read by others. Why write in a journal if you dont ever want to share it? I'm often very happy when I write (the act itself makes me so. Im not always "happy" when I have the need to write), and like Blake I want to share my joys...unlike him I have to leave out the children . .heh. . .not for kiddies.

As a writer it is my duty to read so I can be a better writer. I've never been keenly interested in much in my English classes. But this online course has made me think about the works we discuss...and this week we have reflected on what it is to create a poem. Its been easy for me to see that kind of pattern in a work...and its actually kind of fun to pull it apart to find out what they're trying to say. Im learning how to write, and I'm learning how to put things together, images together, and thoughts together to get an emotion across that is universal. I'm directing the flow of thought when i write, and by reading other writer's works I'm seeing all the little veins spreading out from the main stream of their works. It is truly going to help me be a better writer when I consider how many levels of thought there is in every idea. Sometimes works are like puzzles, enigmatic, others are straightfoward, some are just plain beautiful and artistic in design, and some beg questions, and others just want to be heard. I want to learn the differences in all while I discover what i really want to write.

After reading and analyzing all that poetry, I get on a roll, and I cant stop...and I tend to think more clearly (which is wonderful because i need to get tested for ADD), and sometimes I analyze too much though. So I really hope I wont often do that.
If any of my classmates are reading this...because its online, i dont get a chance to really speak to any of you, so feel free to email me or comment or whatnot.